Drunk Dad

There is one thing I am expecting from this blog-nothing. I guess its like an open diary that if anyone stumbles upon they may find interesting. However, most of the time its just going to be projectile vomit of my thoughts and irrational feelings at the moment of typing.

My dad seems to be drinking more and more. Last week I saw him finish an entire 750ml bottle of Jamison in one night. Tonight, I saw him pretty much clean out another bottle of whiskey. He passed out on the chair again around 10pm. I wanted him to sleep in the chair so hopefully he would wake up, in a semi-sober state, and see what a mess he is (with his glass of whiskey next to him and his dirty plate of food). But, i didn't have the heart to let him sleep on the fucking chair. I woke him up and made him go to his bed. Its pretty sad watching a 250+ pound 62 year old man stumble as he tries to make his way upstairs....I need to get the fuck out. I thinks he drinks because he is scared, he lives in fear, he numbs the pain every night with the bottle, the nights he doesn't drink he probably has taken Valium, but there aren't many nights he doesn't drink. I'm not certain what he is trying to numb through the booze. I'm sure its a combination of everything from financial failure, embarrassment, mortality, loneliness, etc. Its amazing how as a child through till about the age of 19 I saw my father as a great successful man and today I can hardly stand to be in the same room as him when he drinks. Bottoms up dad, this one's for you.